CureZone   Log On   Join
the new medicine
  Views: 1,629
Published: 10 years ago

the new medicine

WARNING: the following is satire. If you are overly sensitive to satire then please shield your eyes.

We are very lucky to have such minds on curezone as ones that have figured out an entirely new paradigm for medicine.

For example we can all rest easy now because the entire spectrum of adrenal illness has been solved! If you have high cortisol, there is no need to worry because


Now by logical extension we can cross off a whole host of other illnesses that have confounded doctors for ages.

All autoimmune disorders! No worries! Since the immune system is on overdrive this means that you are actually MORE healthy than other people

Tumors! Don't worry, you are aren't weak, sick, you don't have cancer. How could you if your body has all that energy with which to make a tumor.

Hypyerthyroid disease! That's right, it's no problem mate. Actually we should all strive to be hyperthyroid since the thyroid gland is so strong that it actually makes excess hormone!.

Dysentery! Not a problem mate! The old thinking that this could cause dehydration or intestinal problems is outmoded. If your body has enough strength to actually make you go 20x a day then you are actually very healthy.

Adrenal fatigue! Well, this one was already well-covered by our resident expert in 'new medicine'. High cortisol is actually a sign of adrenal strength. All the doctors had it backward for years.

Obesity! Sign of excellent food absorption!

Inflammation/swelling! Not a problem! Actually a sign of excellent circulation.

Hemophilia? That's right. It's actually a sign of super-healthy blood. Maximize your hemophilia blood health by consuming 6000 calories per day from purple malaysian durian fruit.

Gallstones? Think about it. If your gall bladder were ACTUALLY sick then it wouldn't be able to make stones. So stones are really a sign of true gall bladder health.

High Blood sugar!!! This one is the best. In fact anything that registers as 'high' on blood work is a great sign, it means you are better than average. Don't worry about eating tons of fruit Sugar if you have high blood sugar, because your Sugar metabolism is already super-charged mate. A super-charged metabolism can easily handle tons of fruit sugar.


Printer-friendly version of this page Email this message to a friend

This Forum message belongs to a larger discussion thread. See the complete thread below. You can reply to this message!


Donate to CureZone

CureZone Newsletter is distributed in partnership with

Contact Us - Advertise - Stats

Copyright 1999 - 2023

0.656 sec, (2)