Thank you so much for the encouragement and knowledge, Maya.
I will check out those sweeteners as I do have a sweet tooth.
I have not heard of the one sweetener you mentioned. I am constantly learning new things.
It is just I got in the habit of calling it juice fasting so people know what I mean having just heard the term juice feasting for the first time from Dave. I guess if more people say it, eventually it will eventually come to be known more.
So I am on day 2 of my juice feast. So far not hungry at all which surprised me as the last one I did, I was hungry and craving the first three days or so then hunger left making it very easy, but tonight at the movies my stomach started growling :) for the first time in some time as I always stay well fed due to my love affair with food. Maybe the diet changes I made prior helped on that score??
The more I learn, the more I am starting to think living foods are the answers to mankind's ills even the so called incurables ones. The testimonials are so overwhelming.
I haven't tried barley max but have tried several similar greens type products and find mostly all of them yummy, I don't think I did at first but I do now, but some are better than others certainly. Maybe I will try that sometime when I get some money. Seems people like the barley max. I made Schulze's superfood and it is not that tasty really.
I hear what you are saying about loving oneself but I never did all these changes before the fear hit me, so I do appreciate that fear or see it's silver lining, but I think my self love needs some work and I am definitely in need of some emotional healing and I do believe in holistic healing and know that how we think definitely does affect us spiritually and emotionally and physically and very much so. As Schulze says all our cells are listening to our emotional dialogue via I forget what kind of receptor they were in all our cells. Likely that is why love and forgiveness, gratitude, trust and all that are what we are told to strive for.
I think even though I do love myself, all the rejection I have gotten in life and the many, many stressful events I have lived through have affected me negatively. I feel like life beat the crap out of me..somehow I went from being super happy as a child and teen to being very unhappy etc for so long, it feels like forever.
I know Dr schulze says our emotions and attitude have a lot to do with people's healings and sometimes one's emotional stuff interferes with people getting well.
I am sure I could learn a lot from you as I have this tendency to be so nurturing to people and not to myself. I often put the needs of others ahead of myself to the point it harms me and my life but can't seem to do well at it.
I give so much it leaves me without the time and energy to help fix my own life. I am addicted to the computer and my kids feel it is due to my lack of support and trying to find it online which they tell me is not a good place as many nuts are out there and that the distraction online keeps me from solving my own problems by sometimes creating new problems to focus on to distract me form how crappy my life really is and they tell me that I could better find support from looking for it via where I live in real life and also use that time spent on the computer to better solve some of my problems and thus feel better.
My one son was really helping me but now he works all the time up to 80 hours and has no time anymore to ever call or see me.
I am ever so messed up, but I feel that I am ready to try to change at least some of that. Not even sure where to start or how to stop the self sabotage and poor use of time due to distraction stemming from sleep apnea induced ADD and the sanguine part of my temperament being naturally disorganized and totally non aware of time.
I do not believe one can only help others if one loves themselves first but do think one can do it better that way and help themselves as well as others. I have a lot to learn there I think but not sure where to start being more self affirming. I think my character and good heart have helped me still have self love in the face of massive family criticism on all fronts as I had to stick up for me as noone else did, but recognize all this has damaged me. I feel utterly alone.
I never guite feel good enough or enough in general so this naturally does make it harder. In fact, my grown children feel I self sabotage myself and am invested in being miserable. I don't feel it is conscientiously done but they may well be right as they are quite insightful and way, way more emotionally healthy than I am.
They do not hang on to slights and hurts from family for 20 years like me, don't do things they don't want to do out of guilt if they don't, really love themselves and don't always think they are selfish when they are putting themselves first or being self protective etc and, in general, astound me with their emotional health and happiness.
I am so unlike them. I worry chronically, get consumed by hate at times, can't take things in stride, am very self critical, see the glass half empty and see life as a horrible place and much more. They told me they never met anyone who worried like I do and say I am a chronic, compulsive worrier.
Do you have any suggestions on how to reverse all this?
I have literally been told by hundreds of people in my life that I run into that I am kind, sweet, have a heart of gold and and very, very nice and I don't do this stuff of being kind for self gratification but because I am genuine to who I am inside and very empathetic by nature and highly sensitive (the highly sensitive child and indigo child are descriptions and traits I strongly identify with though I am nearly senior status age-wise very rapidly and these things were not discussed back in the 50s and 60s and since indigo nearing age 60 are rare, I have always felt different from the world. My high IQ isolated me further as they, by nature, have many divergent traits form the world at large), but yet though I do so much for others or have so many wonderful traits people say they admire, I feel it is never enough and put my self down for not doing more or 2nd guess myself.
I feel I am emotionally damaged to be honest and am told I am extremely hard on myself though to me it seems normal. (I am being very honest and putting myself out there in revealing all this), but I am hoping for help maybe as sometimes I feel at the end of my rope. This is the least stressful year I have had in almost 25 years of continual problems, so maybe this is a good time to try harder to do better on the emotional front.
If I was half as nurturing to myself as I am to others, I would likely be very happy or spend as much time on helping me as I do everyone else, and I might be well now. I was always told how selfish I was as a kid and reared during the 50s as a catholic taught if I was not perfect I was going to hell and think in very black and white terms which are not realistic I now believe, but it is hard to break habits that old.
Even typing this makes me ashamed to say it all and so much more is even left unsaid. I have been told and recognize I have an abundance of wonderful traits but also have an equal number of bad traits but I tended to only focus on the bad until the last several years so most of my life I felt like such a sinner even though I am pretty much normal or in some ways better than average as a human being.
I am too much a perfectionist in some things and focus on the bad more than the good. Like I did with my kids unfortunately, I or they might get and did all A's or 100s in school but I focused on the one b. Might get a ton of complements but hyperfocus on the one criticism etc.
Is there hope for someone like that?
My son once stopped me when ever I said something negative about myself or others and he was stopping me every minute...oops did you realize you did it again. I was shocked.
I had no idea how negative I actually was or my self talk till he pointed that out to me. He made me replace each negative with a positive but I soon fell back into he old rut that was so habitual.
Surely in your work you run into some of these things right? How do you advise people like me and how can I add this to my healing program.
I want to get better and become more self loving and appreciative.
Thank you Maya if you time to respond and for all you do for others and for being you.