I know what you mean about the anger and disgust for letting yourself get in that condition in the first place because I have that feeling now. I just can't believe I gained that much weight, but I will tell you that it snuck up on me without my even noticing until it was too late. At least thats what I'm telling myself.
The good thing is I have decided that I am no longer going to live that way, and I don't just mean the added weight but the junk I've been feeding my body. It took me 50 years to realize just what a blessing our lives are and that we should take care of our bodies. Like you, I am sorry it took me so long but I always say, better late than never.
I'm so excited to finally be on this path and I look so forward to the benefits of it. I am telling myself that it took years for me to get in this shape so I can't expect it to change overnight. I'm so happy to have found this forum and I thank you for all your support. Good luck.