I agree with both of you.
When my ex and I seperated, I had a wonderful relationship with my children. It took less than 2 months before I noticed a difference in blame and attitude.
Now almost three years later my daughter will not speak to me and my son is being kept from me. I have requested the courts to step in but, they move slow. I even called the Dept. of Family and protective services for guidence. If there are not any physical wounds, there is no abuse. From their stand point. Since I live near Fort Worth, I have found a group called "Texas Father's for Equal Rights" and hope they can help. If not, I must believe the contempt of court issues will force the ex to provide visitation.
Have you read the "divorce posion" book by Dr. Warshak? If not, I would encourge anyone to read this book.
At this point, all I am doing is being there for them, and not giving up.