I have been reading your posts for quite a while now and while they have helped me ascertain that AF is my problem along with LBS and candida what is scaring me is that I cant find anyone who has also experienced the symptoms that disturb me the most. This makes me think something else may be compunding my problems.
Two years ago we had three deaths in our family in one month, one was a suicide, two months later i had my wisdom teeth removed and 3 weeks after that I had severe food poisoning and was hospitalised for it. Thats when my whole world fell apart. I couldnt sleep at night because I had the most scary, horrific intrusive thoughts, i never knew where they came from and couldnt change my trail of thought no matter how hard i tried, this was followed by panic attacks and overpowering anxiety, i thought i was losing my mind, i felt guilty about what i was thinking and was scared i would act out the thoughts i was having which made me more anxious, and so it went on. I eventually had my Amalgams
removed and after alot of chelation and cutting out all dairy, gluten and alcahol i started to see the light. I got my life back slowly but surely. I was feeling energised and confident again and after seriously contemplating ending it all myself for not being able to live in the torment that i was for so long, it was absolute bliss.
3 months ago i went through a very stressful patch, I'd been eating gluten, dairy and partaking in my fair share of alcahol from around February this year and WHAM I was right back in my nightmare again. Needless to say I am terrified to the point of booking myself into a psych ward. The thought of having to go through all that again is scaring the life out of me, I have never taken meds only natrual supps, the way i feel now and these symptoms i think i need to go an an anti psychotic. Can you recover from AF and then crash again this bad?
I am anxious ALL the time, i startle for the smallest things, I am paranoid all the time and am always expecting the worst to happen, i know my fiance loves me and would never cheat but im constantly suspicous of him, its tearing us apart. If i think of something that i shouldnt be i get this rush in my body and the fear gets worse. When i wake in the AM my mind is rushing and i cant gather my thoughts, songs stay stuck in my head more than what is normal, things on TV (not even such bad things) and answering my phone scare me so much, i know they cant hurt me but i just get scared. Ive started avoiding my family and am running out of excuses, we are usually very close. DO any of you get the feeling like you just need to run away? there is nothing to run from but I feel like i just need to run, to get away this makes me so scared because im scared i start running and never stop. An overwhelming urge to get away. The weirdest thing is that i sometimes feel like i need to get out of my own skin, at all cost i just need to escape out of my own skin - peel it off, slice it off, scratch it off, i just need to get out.
I know I sound like a psycho here, thats how i feel inside but PLEASE if any of you out there experience these symptoms your posting it will save my life. I have never felt more scared and alone.
I have cut out the things i react to again and it is helping slowly, my sleep patterns are from 3am - 8-9am, i am trying to change that to.
Im really sorry about blabing my whole life story here just hoping with all my heart someone can relate.
Best wishes to you all
P.S I am 25 yr old female