Blog: Ren's Holistic Fitness and Life Journal
by ren

committment revisited

homework from rawfood bootcamp I want to share

Date:   5/8/2006 5:20:38 PM   ( 17 y ) ... viewed 2323 times

Well I had typed up a long answer to my homework assignment but here it is distilled down into the nut of it. I'm scared sh*tless because going 100% raw will force me to deal with my emotional issues of body image and abuse. I am getting the same feelings I had in Air Force bootcamp. The real military bootcamp started turning up all kinds of emotions and I bolted from my flight(as many female recruits did!). I'm scared of letting go of my comfort foods because I'm afraid I won't have energy to work or clean the house or deal with my family with the wedding coming up. I'm afraid to look good because it brings too many attention to me and thus makes me remember all my abuse. Strangely enough, the only person that can pay unlimited amounts of attention to me and I love it is my fiance. Maybe I'm afraid of gaining back the weight. The last time I gained back the weight I lost was because I met a man on the internet who I thought loved me, when in fact, he just was interested in sex. Hence, I took that as confirmation of my inherent ugliness and descended into a depression over being fat and not a blonde,blue eyed beauty in other words, it's not so much being blonde, it's being pretty enough to attract guys. I don't hate on those girls anymore because they are pretty to look at and I'm not denying any woman their beauty because of my own poor self esteem (I got that from Tony Zavasta's book). I'm showing this homework to my fiance because he supports me in my food habit changes but I've never revealed any of my serious attempts to him OR what I really feel about food.

I see myself standing at the edge of a great abyss. The abyss is a profound mystery and I really want to jump, take that leap of faith. Reminds me of those scenes in movies when someone is standing at the edge of a cliff and their foot barely does anything but knocks some pebbles over. That's what I feel like right now.

Add This Entry To Your CureZone Favorites!

Print this page
Email this page
DISCLAIMER / WARNING   Alert Webmaster


CureZone Newsletter is distributed in partnership with https://www.netatlantic.com


Contact Us - Advertise - Stats

Copyright 1999 - 2023  dir.curezone.com

1.953 sec, (2)

Back to blog!
 
Add Blog To Favorites!
 
Add This Entry To Favorites!

Comments (15 of 142):
Re: PMS update jaidynhayd… 7 y
Re: The Fitness Jo… jack2… 7 y
Re: Kitty Litter W… RockG… 8 y
Re: Spending Time … ren 14 y
Re: Spending Time … mo123 14 y
Re: Saturday Journ… ren 14 y
Re: Saturday Journ… kermi… 14 y
Re: Wombs for Rent… ren 16 y
Re: Wombs for Rent… grzbe… 16 y
Re: The dieing com… Ayeha… 16 y
Re: The dieing com… ren 16 y
Re: The dieing com… Ayeha… 16 y
Re: The dieing com… ariel… 16 y
Re: The dieing com… Ayeha… 16 y
deer meat ariellanetanya 16 y
All Comments (142)

Blog Entries (10 of 97):
committment revisited  17 y
Weekend Wrap Up  17 y
Saturday Food and Exercise P…  17 y
Today's Food Plan  17 y
food log  17 y
Beautiful Day  17 y
Carlene's Raw Food Bootcamp  17 y
stressful hiatus  17 y
friday update  17 y
Before measurements  17 y
All Entries (97)

Blogs by ren (10):
Uncovering The Starchild With…  23 mon  (389)
Nursing in the Raw  23 mon  (198)
Emerson’s Coffee Bike  5 y  (98)
Heal Thyself/Sacred Woman  23 mon  (50)
Ren's Fitness/Starchild Yoga …  13 y  (33)
Trial and Error  8 y  (20)
Wedding Blog (and life therea…  10 y  (19)
Ren's Natural Womb Life  16 y  (13)
My Mother's CaNsEr Journal  24 mon  (11)
From Poverty to Riches  24 mon  (7)

Similar Blogs (10 of 185):
Premium Blog  by anneetyner  174 min
dhvac experts  by dhvacexperts  13 h
natural health insi…  by kseniyakuz  25 h
Dangers of Mosquito…  by Teriwall  52 h
Personal  by tommypatel  79 h
Business News  by David3534  7 d
The key to choose a…  by Artois  12 d
New Zealand Casino …  by AidanWiedermann  13 d
Comprehensive Guide…  by vickimason894  14 d
The Healthiest Way …  by PaisleyH  15 d
All Blogs (1,019)

Back to blog!
 

Lugol’s Iodine Free S&H
J.Crow’s® Lugol’s Iodine Solution. Restore lost reserves.



New lower prices!
Hulda Clark Cleanses