Uncovering The Starchild Within
by Ren
Page 12 of 23

Starchild catches herself a man   16 y  
getting married today
Iím getting married today in four and a half hours. I have this time alone to myself. My mother doesnít want me to mess up my makeup and hair so I got exiled to her bedroom. Iím playing some cool music right now. Actually, itís not even music, itís really a wonderful tool of expanding oneís consciousness called DNA Activation. Well anyway, Iím going to meditate. Iíll see everyone in two weeks.   visit the page

A Starchild CONspiracy contribution- The Web Toll   16 y  
here's one for the conspiracy books (and is probably true!)
Hereís a story I filched from the pages of Popular Science. Tim Folger What if the Internet were like cable television, with Web sites grouped like channels into either basic or premium offerings? What if a few big companies decided which sites loaded quickly and which ones slowly, or not at all, on your computer? Welcome to the brave new Web, brought to you by Verizon, Bell South, AT&T and the other telecommunications giants (including PopSciís parent company, Time Warner) that are now lobbying Congress to block laws that would prevent a two-tiered Internet, with a fast lane for Web s ...   read more

Love Vibration of the Rose   16 y  
my rose pics
The rose emits the hightest vibration of love in the plant world, it is said. I suppose that is why it is so popular on Valetineís Day. The rose is a living metaphor for life also. Here are some rose pics from my garden. Unfortunately, I will not be able to have a rose garden up in the mountains.   visit the page

my internet addiction   16 y  
special message for Deradune
I understand Deradune completely with the whole internet addiction thing. I can remember the first time I ever went on the internet. Five hours went by and I didnít even realise I missed class. Here was a whole new world for me. This was at a time when the Internet was really lifting off and on its way... that was around 1992. I was having really difficult time adjusting to college life and here was a whole new world! No one hated me, no one judged me...after all, you could pick your friends. It was almost like the game SIMS. I got my own AOL account and began getting into chat, personal a ...   read more

Psychic Whirlpool   16 y  
yet another spiritual encounter
I was standing on the deck of the reception hall this weekend staring out at the water. Itís a wonderful facility that is right on the water. Perfect for someone like me who is enchanted with the ocean and mermaids, Atlantis,Lemuria,etc. Plus my fiance and I spent considerable time at the beach, just sitting and watching the waves come in and go out. Anyway, this weekend was particularly stressful so I just stood there imagining myself as a mermaid just swimming through the water making my way out to the open ocean. After this weekend of upset and stresss, I feel very calm. Iím home by mys ...   read more

basement feng shui   16 y  
a travelogue of my last weekend with jawnai before the wedding
I am here with fiance cleaning out his basement apartment. Itís not really an apartment since it is a house but he is the only person living down here. Having been depressed for years, heís buried himself in a considerable amount of clutter. Weíve cleaned out one third of the basement, separating all of his clothes and it feels bigger and lighter down here. I feel a more positive energy and even he looks better and seems to have a better energy about him. Change is hard. He felt embarassed but I wasnít turned off. If I was left alone, this could have been me. My college dorm room looked te ...   read more

Love: A Brain Tonic   16 y  
general life update
Yes the bridal shower was a success in so many ways. First off, I had enough money to get a heater to do my bikram yoga. BTW, I had the BEST NIGHT OF SLEEP in a long time after doing bikram. I went on an herbal tea shopping spree at Whole Foods. I ran into my old supervisor at the other WFM where I got sh*tcanned :D He asked me how I was doing,etc. Peter was a nice guy. Anyway, I used some of my shower money to buy a room thermometer and today Iím buying another heater so I can get the authentic 110 degree experience :D I am able to put a new tire on the car so I can go up to PA tomorrow. ...   read more

Carlene's Raw Food Bootcamp and stuff   16 y  
getting on the diet bandwagon and wedding prep drama
So I enrolled in this weightloss bootcamp...http://www.rawfoodbootcamp.com for the overweight. It started out as a camp for morbidly obese women but since then sheís started one for us íthiní girls. Is that like jumbo shrimp or something to me??? LOL Anyway, my eating has been out of control and Iíve not been exercising so here it is. Plus itís only $25 a month. I decided to do it for one month to give it a try starting tomorrow. Iím ready with lots of green juice because up till recently I was drinking lots of coffee plus my period is coming. So much stress with the wedding preparations! ...   read more

pictures are worth a thousand words   16 y  
old pics bring up memories
I wish I could post the pictures of me that I found on my laptop. I was already depressed today so I went and added things to my bridal registry. I actually didnít stuff my face silly. I was wanting to stay at a certain level and not get too deep into depression. BTW, I saw my dream car more than twice today and Iím now convinced that the Mercedes Benz E500 is going to be mine.   read more

Rough Weekend (denial isn't a river in Egypt)   16 y  
week/weekend wrap up (long post!)
I had a very stressful week and weekend. Lots of shouting, arguing and depression relating to my mother and sister. My room is the cleanest itís ever been. That was my whole weekend, cleaning and then out in the garden. Lot of the shouting and arguing was over my mother urgency for everything to be done. She works during the week and isnít home. The shower is in two weeks and sheís nervous. Also, my fiance had a bout of depression and that had me upset as well. Iím surprised I didnít get sick. I did eat more than I should and I didnít exercise. Today is a calm day here and very warm. Ií ...   read more

Saturday Sulking and Sunday Smiles   16 y  
brief journal
Well the invitations are DONE!!!! DONE!!! FINALLY!!! :cartwheels: All of them are done. I was just recounting my gyno horror story to one of my bridesmaids anda even that canít really depress me because THE INVITATIONS ARE DONE. Yesterday I was in a mildly bad moon. I was depressed a little and was getting aggravated with fiance because my mom was ANNOYING THE SH*T out of me. Of course I ate a little too much to satiate my feelings. I find that keeping my food journal is helping me analyze what I eat. I started keeping a food and exercise journal. Plus I must address some emotional iss ...   read more

Friday FUN   16 y  
Yeah my period is DONE. Celebrate!!!
I went back to the gym yesterday. I felt great afterwards and guzzles a sixteen ounce green juice afterwards. The up and down depression last week with my mother had me eating junk so I got constipated. I tried taking epsolm salts, it worked the first time but nothing happened yesterday except for passing A LOT of smelly gas YIKES! I donít think Iíll do that again for a LONG time (taking epsolm salts lax). I didnít mind the gas because my stomach got flatter. Anyway, I woke up this morning and ate two greens energy bars. Iím going to do a trial and error blog entry about these wonderful ba ...   read more

War Within the Self   16 y  
important this and that
Today is a day of rest for me. Iíve basically completed my wedding invitations. My mother and I have been at odds with eachother all last week. It was wearing me down and getting me very depressed. The stress put upon me made my first day of the moon time very stressful. Iíve been eating a lot and the stress made me constipated. Tried to take some epsolm salts and it did help except last night I ate out of stress. Itís not a lot of food just I am not doing from a point of control. Iíve not been to the gym either or juicing. Iíll have to juice before my vegetables spoil. I feel as if the de ...   read more

Rejecting Modern Materialism: The Rise of the Crunchy-Conservatives   16 y  
more on crunchy conservatism
Rejecting Modern Materialism: The Rise of the Crunchy-Conservatives Catholic Exchange ^ | March 31, 2006 | Pete Vere JCL Over this past weekend, I had the opportunity to read Rod Dreherís Crunchy Cons. This is a book that has been stirring up conservative circles since its release this past winter. Dreher is a popular Generation-X conservative writer and a convert to Eastern Catholicism. He has worked for a number of publications, including the National Review, the New York Post, and the Washington Times. He is now a full-time writer and editor with the Dallas Morning News. A Mani ...   read more

Must get over this traumatic depression!   16 y  
depression worsens
I am not achieving anything this morning. I didnít even want to talk to my fiance about anything. I know I must get outside. I woke up this morning with energy and vitality. Yet, my mother calls me to harangue me about wedding pedestals my fiance is supposed to make. I didnít need that negative energy. I told my fiance I didnít want to talk to him today. I should not say that but Iím in a great deal of pain right now. Iím never going to a doctor again. *uck them all. Right now Iím disgusted and when I go back for my test results boy are they going to get an earful. Yet, they donít give a ...   read more

Still depressed about my exam. Why?   16 y  
lingering resentments
I have stopped bleeding completely. Not that it was a gushing tidalwave of blood but it was enough to unnerve me. I canít get out of my mind how the doctor and the nurse was telling me to calm down and relax. Mother f*ckers... I wish I could have shoved a plastic cucumber up her ass and see how she likes it. I feel like crying. I donít even want to meditate. I feel like calling the hospital and complaining about their bedside manner but I had to go in for my STD results in four weeks. Imagine that. STDs... I want to write a letter to R*y cutting him off completely but Iíve not the motivati ...   read more

psychic trauma of a routine gyno exam   16 y  
this and that
I wince when I say íroutineí because I HOPE that shoving a big metal instrument up a vagina isnít routine. It was quite painful and I bled like I was losing my virginity all over again. I didnít realise why I was feeling so funny even though I was happy I finally got my pap smear. Tonight as I was cleaning my kitchen, I started eating these rice crackers with mayonnaise. It wasnít a full on binge BUT it was clear I was consuming more food than usual because I was covering something. Well that something was this exam bringing up all the trauma surrounding meeting R*y. Here I thought that be ...   read more

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I am beginning a journey within to recover the body and soul of the little girl that lost her way many years ago. I want to share this journey with everyone who will listen. I do intend to put my words into booklet form so others may be inspired by my life.Ö more...

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Created: 17 y   Mar 03 2005

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Blogs by Ren (10):
Nursing in the Raw  21 mon  (198)
Emersonís Coffee Bike  4 y  (98)
Ren's Holistic Fitness and LiÖ  7 y  (97)
Heal Thyself/Sacred Woman  21 mon  (50)
Ren's Fitness/Starchild Yoga Ö  12 y  (33)
Trial and Error  7 y  (20)
Wedding Blog (and life thereaÖ  9 y  (19)
Ren's Natural Womb Life  15 y  (13)
My Mother's CaNsEr Journal  22 mon  (11)
From Poverty to Riches  22 mon  (7)

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