Encounter with Structured Infinity (pt2.) 16 y
the next in a continual serial of psychic poetic revelation
Through the forest
down the path less travelled
Valkyrie women and of unicorns
Garden of Eden I saw myself
the innocent me not alone
together, holding hands
playing as the day we were born
my eternal soul mate
the friend my heart longed for
young children naked
eating the fruit of life visit the page
Bikram Yoga: Good for you, Good for Me 16 y
a little this and that
I started practicing bikram yoga at a local studio. Itís just AMAZING. Everything in itís time. I knew one day Iíd end up in a yoga studio but the cost factor precluded me from attending. My sister mentioned taking bikram yoga in the city and WONDERS NEVER CEASE my local bikram yoga place was offering a monthís worth of classes for thirty bucks!!!! I had to seize the day and I actually look forward to going to class. Iím a little hungry now but Iím going to bed.
Tomorrow Iím following through on my íno eating till twelveí plan. I did it today. I am allowing myself to eat whatever I want ... read more
Mermaid Food and Mermaid Love 16 y
Day two of the Great Blizzard 2006!! :D
Someone as obsessed with mermaids as I used to be. Meeting my inner child for the first time in a long time has ignited some old childhood facinations of mine.
Anyway, Iím preparing for another journey inward to see if I can befriend and reunite with my inner child. If I donít do this, I will not be able to move through the eight gates of the underworld of the inner self. When you decide to turn inward and make a meditation journey into the shadows, you canít force/rush the process. Investigating the dark aspects of oneís self is very di ... read more
Moon Time Poetry 16 y
first installment in the serial poem 'Encounter with Structured Infinity'
Well okay I donít if this is inspired by my period or by being snowing in and having no Starbucks :-) but here it goes. My first visionary piece of poetry.
Encounter with Structured Infinity Part 1
by Ren the curezone blogger
God spoke to me from The Deep.
Deep calling to a smaller,shallow pool
Father of the Universe sends emissaries to his starchild
From the Astral Shower of the First Gate
A Glimpse of Innocent Me
Fear consuming me, I retreat
Retreat to negative foods, negative emotions
Surround myself with dark mood
Painful silence of alienation
visit the page
Wintering In, Late Periods and Marriage Drama 16 y
piles of snow and depressed loved one
Well here I am snowed in. I had two cups of tea, some fresh applesauce with yogurt and a few spoons of unprocessed bran, oh and two slices of live bread earlier this morning. I donít think Iíll eat for a while now since my activity level is zero :D Iím reading curezone, reading thegardendiet.com, going through Jinjeeís journal and listening to the Breakthrough DVD.
Iíve noticed that my period didnít start out crampy. Itís also late too by a day or so. I didnít have a nasty, clumpy mucus-y show that announces itís arrival like I usually do. I ate more raw fruits this month, drank kombuc ... read more
Wedding Dress Wonders and Noreaster Woes 16 y
a little this and that
Hello everyone. I have a nice update. Yesterday I went to try on my new wedding dress and it zipped up all the way. Itís a fourteen (Iím a twelve) and the dress is being shipped from the manufacturer at the end of April. I no longer care about getting down to a particular size. The saleslady asked if Iíve been on a diet *LOL* Well sort of :-) Iíve started going to a bikram yoga studio. The bikram yoga has me seriously evaluating my dietary reality and my goals. Iíve reviewed my blogpost on the documentary Breakthough and am really wanting to dial in my diet and purify my body. Itís no long ... read more
Age is Just a Number 16 y
this and that report
Aside from my eternal salvation in Jesus Christ the Lord, Iíve been slowly coming into a consciousness about physical immortality. I donít agree with all of his ideas, esp. about population control, but the books by Leonard Orr and Sondra Ray are so fascinating. The deep breathing exercises are very energising to say the least. Anyway, I visited my fiance this weekend and came away with even more energy and dedication to continuing the path I started a year ago almost. I do want to turn back my ageing clock. I have no fear getting old because old to me means something very different than w ... read more
The Real Agenda of Planned Parenthood 16 y
Choose Natural Life
God put something on my heart this morning about an experience of mine so here it is!
The real agenda of Planned Parenthood isnít abortion, it is the systemic sterilisation and poisoning of women with their birth control and depo provera. I remember when I went to a PP clinic as I was panicking about my later diagnosed genital warts. It was against my beliefs about abortion but I went because I figured it would be a learning experience. Well WAKE UP ALL YOU PROTESTERS... itís not really about abortion. Itís about poising our blood streams with birth control pills.
Itís also about som ... read more
If the back don't fit, the dress ain't legit! 16 y
some this and that
Well people I tried on my wedding dress. I thought my fat belly would be a challenge but no... itís WIDE ASS BACK. Itís just like my fiance said, we both come from peasant stock. Can I help it that I built like a Sicilian mountainwoman? GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.... anyway after shopping for dresses I can see why some brides go crazy. Itís really AGGRAVATING to be FAT and try on dresses. You should have seen me sucking in stomach and having the saleslady lace me up in the bridal corset. I have to say that it really holds you in and I want one :D Anyway, Iím so over dress shopping. Tomorrow itís a ... read more
When a loved one is depressed 16 y
some news about my relationship
How does a person support a loved one who is depressed in a holistic,emotional, even psychic-spiritual sort of way? My fiance is experiencing profound depression right now and Iím thinking of ways to help him. It is our distance apart that prevents from helping him eat the right things and exercise. Thereís really no one looking out for him where he is. Heís all alone.
All I can do is pray for him. Friday morning Iím going to church and saturday and sunday as well. Iím abstaining from my favorite things, namely Starbucks and scones. I donít know what I will do but I do know one day duri ... read more
Fighting and Depression 16 y
some depressing news
I had an exchange of words with my fiance and now we are not speaking. I have work tomorrow and am truly depressed. I also didnít eat well today as it is and just made an omlet for myelf. Yes I know. Itís nothing something that I should have but eating it made me feel good...for all but five seconds. I hate going to work depressed. I hope that I will feel better in the morning. I hope that I wonít need coffee to keep me from flying off the handle. I wish I could say that my first instinct is to drink some juice or wheatgrass but right now all I have is a visual of a Starbucks buffet.
Ri ... read more
I got a temporary job 16 y
brief note about my state of employment
I received an assignment for some temporary data entry work. Itís three days a week and the money is very good, compared to what I made at Wh*le F**ds. Letís pray I have good managers and that I do the best job that I can do. Iíve never had a data entry job before. I do know itís a lot of work so time should go by fast. visit the page
Depression has returned...somewhat 16 y
brief afternoon thought
I was getting my hair done today. I found myself thinking why am I getting my hair done like this? Itís not as if Iím going to work. I began to think about getting fired,etc.etc. The depression came back. I ate a sicilian slice of pizza and half a bagel with lox spread. The lox spread made me ill, too heavy a food and also the bad karma from the dead fish I think. Anyway, Iím watching Americaís Next Top Model and this guy just told this girl that her size 39 hips arenít what heís looking for, as in sheís too big. Thatís effed up. Sheís thinner than hell and sheís still too big *LOL* I wond ... read more
From the Mermaid pool, God speaks! 16 y
brief note about a very fateful mail arrival
I had ordered a Splash poster off ebay two weeks ago, actually more than two weeks I think. Anyway, here is the rendering:
Depressed and Alone 16 y
depressed and upset
So while I can finally visualise myself slim with muscle and wearing my wedding dress, right now Iím plagued with depression. I ate like crazy today when I am supposed to be fasting. I didnít eat till I felt sick but cheese and tofu made me feel better and forget about my problems (like a street drug!). I was going along training for the marathon in May but Iíve not run in three days. I picked the gym I went to because it was close to the store. Now it seems far away. Everything seems very far away right now. My mother is angry with me over losing my job so she moved my kombucha bowl and r ... read more
I was fired today... 16 y
I'm unemployed once again but I'm still alive
Yes I was fired from my job today. A co-worker reported me for taking something from her department and going to the back with it. I was going to the back to go the bathroom and get my card and didnít know this was against rules. I was stunned someone would rat me out for something that wasnít true, esp. since I paid for the item. Words canít describe how I felt, except to say that the level of stress I experienced as I was being dismissed was EXCEPTIONALLY PAINFULLY PHYSICALLY. I had to summon all the strength I had to drive myself home. I wanted to drive my car into the rightside divider ... read more
More Thoughts about my personal 'breakthrough' 16 y
Previous Page, Page 9
Today I ran/walked in the park for the first time in a LONG time. I did some jump ropes for warm up and stretching so I donít repeat the calf situation I had last year. Anyway, I had my ipod with me but tomorrow I wonít be taking the ipod. Something within me wants to run without musical motivation. I prefer the ipod in the gym. I wonder why that is. Did I mention I didnít eat then? I totally collapsed and had Starbucks but later on at work I got a nasty stomach flu sitation and was sent home. Maybe itís a sign. My mom made pigeon peas for new year and she put pork in it so maybe itís the ... read more